Quest for the Ancient Kings - Part 2 - Inside the Pyramids

Fully refreshed, we set out the next morning for the Pyramids. Feeling self-conscious, we opted out of our “adventure outfits”. Still foreigners stick out – especially when one of them is a mega-hot redhead – so it didn't take long for the first tout to descend upon us.

It starts with them just hollering at you, trying to establish contact. "Hey Mister! Mister! Hey! Hellooooo!!! Mister!!" Kathryn can just put her head down and soldier on; I can't seem to ignore someone shouting at me. Now, they've got your attention and they want to talk. They want to find out what it is your looking for so they can start their sales pitch. If it's an item, they can collect a commission from guiding you into a shop, a commission which is tacked onto your bill, incidentally. If it's a service, they or some relative of theirs can provide it. And they simply refuse to believe that someone would rather walk when they can ride!

People kept asking me, “Where do you come from?” Well, Americans haven't been all that popular in that area of the world for a while, so at first I answered the question literally.

“Ich komme aus Deutchland,” which means I come out of Germany. True enough. Then came the inevitable, “Do you speak English?” Which required some stretching of the truth - “Nur ein bisschen” or “just a little.”

Of course, there was the occasional tout who actually spoke German, but on the whole this ploy worked to shorten many an encounter. In truth though, these encouters were interesting experiences. We started out very leery of these guys, but the fact is they are merely trying to make a living and the majority of them are offering a valid service.

Egypt is a poor country and tourists are viewed as walking wallets. With some families surviving on $90 US a month, it's hard to begrudge these guys their sales pitch. They can't advertise except by “hawking” their wares, and they offer a real service. While there are undoubtedly crooked dealers running all the rip off scams the books warn about – I believe the majority are just trying to make a living. They are tenacious though, and it was their persistence that got on my nerves. They believe if they offer something at a low enough price, you'll finally buy it. If I don't want it, I don't want it, even if it's free!

Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire?
First, if you haven't - get it, watch it NOW! My time in Egypt reminded me of this movie; I saw it on the plane ride home, and though I handed out baksheesh (tips) pretty liberally, if I had seen that film before I went to Egypt, I'd probably have given away twice as much. These people are poor, and a dollar tip makes a real difference to them. Even the 1 Egyptian pound, a mere .25 cents US was appreciated - most of the time!

We followed a sign that took us down through the village of Nazlet as-Samaan. This is not the same entrance as Taxis or buses will drop you, and there are more touts here then the other route. These people depend on tourist for their livelihood, and the new fence going up around the Pyramid Complex has grave implications for their ability to make a living. Since I already knew I didn't want anything, and I can't be coerced or bullied into anything, I good naturedly haggled with them, interested in the art and practice of it for when I did want something. How can you learn if you don't try? Books are one thing, but as Indy himself says in Kingdom of the Golden Skull - If you really want to learn, "ya gotta get out of the library!”

A huge line stretched from the ticket complex, but for reasons I can't explain, we were waved to the front. Entry to the complex cost a mere $10 American, and moments later we were inside.


It's hard to describe what it is like to suddenly BE someplace that you've always DREAMED of being. I must say, having entered the complex through both gates, this small isolated entrance was by far the most dramatic. You walk in and BAM! There squatted the enigmatic Sphinx, sternly guarding the massive Pyramids that towered behind him. Their sheer bulk is startling – for over 4000 years they were the largest man made structures on Earth.

Unfortunately, of all the incredible places we've visited, this was the hardest one to actually EXPERIENCE. What I mean is, it's difficult to find a moment to just “soak it in”. There are thousands of tourists and touts, and you can't find five minutes to contemplate the majesty of the wonders before you without someone breaking into your reverie to try and sell you some useless bit of junk.

Now, I may have unwittingly added to this fact myself, though from all other accounts, this happens to everybody. As stated earlier, this first visit, we did not wear our adventure clothes, which means I had no hat and my bald head was exposed to the brutal Egyptian sun. Almost immediately, a guy came up selling head cloths, starting at $25. Totally not interested. But, I had spoken to him, so he kept at it. As the sun blistered my bare skull, I thought, gee it would be nice to protect myself. Despite his protestations that his children would now starve, he let me have the headdress for $5. However, this now marked me as a guy who might buy something, and we were continually assaulted by merchants. Interestingly, the one technique that worked best for getting them to relent: saying Thanks in Arabic. Kathryn learned this immediately (she is so very talented) and my best phonetic spelling is “shoo-kran” with a slight rolling of the 'r' if you can manage it.

Entry inside the Pyramids themselves is restricted to 300 people a day, divided into morning and afternoon. Getting inside being our main goal, we single-mindedly headed for the ticket booth. The books both describe ticket kiosks by each Pyramid, but this was not the case, and we had to head to the main entrance, quite the hike across the complex. Further, the afternoon tickets go on sale at 1300, and the tours start lining up early, so we wanted to make sure we a good spot before some tour guide bought 100 tickets for his bus!

Interestingly, while waiting in line, some girls came up and asked to take Kathryn's picture, and then had other pictures made while standing with her. And she wasn't even wearing her Jodhpurs!

I'm amazed at how many people visit the Pyramids and yet do not go inside. They'll tell you it costs too much, or it's too hot and cramped, or their friends told them not to bother cause there's nothing inside. But, ya know, it's the PYRAMIDS!! How can you NOT go inside if they'll let you!! The percentage of people on this planet who have actually walked in this space is miniscule! You enter a special club just going inside...

Entry to the Great Pyramid of Cheops, or Khufu as the Egyptians call him, costs $20 US. Chephren's Pyramid cost only $6.


We went in Chephren's Pyramid first, the Great Pyramid not being open yet. On the way over, a camel rider started his spiel. As we really did want to ride a camel, we started negotiations. The deal I wish we had acted on, was 50 Egyptian pounds ($10) for an hour ride around the entire complex, payable at the end. I told him maybe, so he actually sat and waited for us outside the pyramid. He even let us take a picture with his camel without charging us anything!

You are not allowed to take your camera inside, so be prepared to hand them over. For a westerner, giving up your electronic equipment to a guy with questionable hygiene sitting on a rock seems fairly insane, but fortunately the Guide books had prepared me for this. What's unfortunate is Kathryn had not read that section, and put up quite a fuss! They will expect their baksheesh when you come out, but one or two pounds will suffice.

You enter bent almost double, and the tunnel slopes steeply upward. Guide books warn of the strenuous climb, and the claustrophobic conditions, but it's really not that bad. Admittedly (and modestly) I'm in great shape, and I enjoy crawling on my belly through caves – but STILL – it's simply not that extreme. Kathryn does no exercise to speak of, and she had no problem. Because of the closeness and the crowd, there doesn't seem to be a lot of air, but bottom line – you're inside a structure that was built 5000 years ago – a spot where very few people have tread. This makes a little discomfort worth the while. I will say, though, if you are extremely overweight and have trouble bending over, or have asthma, you probably really should pass.

Now, with all that build up, there really isn't anything to see. The thrill is simply in being inside one of the Wonders of the World. You climb a steep passageway and enter a small chamber where the body was actually entombed. And...that's it. The body's not there, though the sarcophagus is. An old, wizened Egyptian lurking inside said some things like 5000 years old, and shown his flashlight into the sarcophagus, and then of course wanted his baksheesh.

When we came out, our friendly camel wrangler had indeed waited, so we accepted a ride from one Pyramid to the next. This distance is readily walkable, but we haggled him down to a total of $8. You'll pay more for 5 minute ride at the zoo, and there won't be a 5000 year old edifice within spitting distance! We rode together, and I must offer a word of warning for young ladies. Some riders will try and scurry up behind a woman. Do NOT let this happen. The gait of the camel produces a VERY sexual contact between the two riders.

Mounting a camel in itself is very interesting. They are tall animals, so they are sitting on the ground when you climb aboard. Then, they stand in a way which puts
the back end considerably higher than the front, and one must lean backwards in earnest to avoid being precipitated over its head. Mounting behind someone else is an exercise in athleticism, and even our guide smiled begrudgingly and said, “you very strong man!”

Plodding through the desert sands with the Great Pyramid of Cheops literally 10 yards away, was an experience I will treasure forever. As the camel knelt before the entrance, I could imagine the ending of a week long odyssey through a journey in which Bedouins harassed us with gun fire and swords fights at hidden oasis. Yes, I watch too many movies!

With a wave to our driver, we began our climb up a path constructed thousands of years earlier to a chamber cloaked in mystery....and then we were beset by a bearded Bedouin harassing us with cheap trinkets!

After the usual pleasantries, this guy said he wanted to give Kathryn a little gift, in appreciation of us coming all the way from Germany to visit his country. Kathryn didn't want to accept, but I said, oh take it. As usual, she was right. Moments later this guy is following us, wanting 20 Egyptian pounds for this tacky paperweight. (about $5) I tell him we don't want it, he says how much will you pay? I said, I don't want it. He comes down to 15. I say, here's 5 (roughly $1). No, no, cheap, cheap.

Now, I'm annoyed. I try to hand this piece of junk back, he won't accept it, yet still demands money. I say, “You can take this back, or I can throw it on the ground.” He took it back. But, to his credit, I had given him $1, so he gave me a pack of 10 postcards – actually a screaming deal from what they sold for elsewhere.


The entrance to the great Pyramid is a jagged gash torn into the monument. It felt like walking into a cave because initially you stay upright as you wind your way into the interior. About 20 yards in a passage slopes down to an unfinished chamber deep beneath the earth. Unfortunately this was closed, though I had really been looking forward to exploring it. My Rough Guide reads: “There's nothing to see, but the nerve racking descent is worthy of Indiana Jones!!!!” You can imagine my disappointment.

The shaft upward is again narrow and steep, requiring you to bend double for the entire climb. At the top of the passage, the ceiling shoots 24 feet into the air. Directly ahead is another blocked passageway that leads to the so-called Queen's Chamber, though archeologists say it is unlikely a queen was ever entombed there. On either side, a ramp continues upward to the King's Chamber. There are strange markings on the wall here, like the teeth of a bulldozer, or the holes used in blasting. Also, along the sides are niches that resemble scaffolding supports.

The low door to the King's Chamber forces one to crawl, and someone pushed a flashlight into my hand as I went through. (yes, I had my own, but the place was lighted! They did this merely to facilitate baksheesh.) The chamber is large, and within you can see just how perfectly the stones are fitted together. There is no mortar, just a thin line where the stones meet, the cracks barely discernable. It was slightly disconcerting imagining the thousands of tons suspended over our heads...

We descended much slower, trying to soak in the atmosphere. These are the 'bleeping' pyramids!!! We've seen images of this place our whole life, and its always been this PLACE, not somewhere you would ever actually be standing. Much of this trip for me felt like this – almost unreal, like I was watching myself on a TV set. Real people don't get to go these places...these places only exist on TV or in adventure novels...

By this time, the heat and lack of water started taking a toll. Though tempted to take a longer camel ride, Kathryn had packed her Jodhpurs specifically for this purpose, so we decided we'd wait till we came back the next day properly attired!

Come back next week for Part 3, and I’ll tell you all about it!! Plus, the Sphinx, The Egyptian Museum, and a 4600 year old ship that looks like it could still take to the water!